Feel Your Feelings: How to Sit With Emotions Without Spiraling

Have You Ever Said, “I Don’t Have Time for This”?

When big emotions surface at the worst possible time, it’s easy to say, “I can’t do this right now.” Life feels too busy — kids, work, responsibilities — who has time for a breakdown?

But here’s the thing: ignoring your feelings doesn’t make them go away. It just means they’ll show up somewhere else — maybe as a tension headache, a short temper, or tears over spilled sesame seeds (true story).

The Fear of Getting Stuck in Your Feelings

Many people avoid fully feeling their emotions because it can feel overwhelming, like getting stuck in them forever. Crying or acknowledging anger and sadness can feel as if it will never end.

But feelings don’t last forever — they move through us when we let them.When we don’t, they stay lodged in our bodies, waiting for an opening.

“Feelings aren’t the enemy — they’re information.”

How to Actually Feel Your Feelings

Feeling your feelings isn’t always easy especially if you’ve spent years pushing them aside. But learning to sit with emotions without spiraling can help release what your body and mind have been holding onto.

There are seven steps that can make processing emotions easier instead of avoiding them. Simple in concept, they become powerful when practiced consistently:

Step One: Acknowledge What You Feel

The first step is simply noticing. You might be walking, cooking, or scrolling, and suddenly your chest tightens or your thoughts start racing. That’s your body saying: hey, something’s up.

Instead of pushing past it, pause and ask yourself, What’s going on right now?Just acknowledging the shift is huge because it’s the beginning of awareness.

Step Two: Name It

Once you notice the feeling, name it.“I’m anxious.”“I’m sad.”“I’m angry.”

Naming your feelings doesn’t make them stronger — it gives you power. When you can label what’s happening, it’s easier to understand and eventually release it.

Many of us grew up believing that anger or sadness were “bad” emotions. But feelings aren’t moral —they’re messengers. You don’t have to shame yourself for having them.

Step Three: Drop the “Shoulds”

It’s so easy to say, “I shouldn’t feel this way.”“I should be grateful.”“I should be happy I’m alive.”

You can be grateful and angry. You can love your life and feel exhausted by it.Letting go of the “shoulds” opens the door to compassion.

Step Four: Sit With It (Without Spiraling)

This is the hardest part. Sitting with a feeling instead of fixing it.Let it exist without rushing it away. Cry if you need to. Listen to a song that matches your mood. Write it out, then rip up the page.

You’re not wallowing — you’re allowing.

Step Five: Be Kind to Yourself

Self-compassion doesn’t come easy for most of us.Try asking yourself: What would I say to a friend who felt this way?Then say that to yourself.

You wouldn’t tell your best friend or your child to “get over it,” so don’t say it to yourself, either.

Step Six: Ground Yourself

When feelings feel too big or you start to dissociate, grounding brings you back into your body.Try the 5 senses method:

• Name 5 things you see

• 4 things you can touch

• 3 things you hear

• 2 things you smell

• 1 thing you taste

Or fine-tune it in a way that feels good to you. Some people use smells, textures, or being in nature. Grounding reminds you that you’re safe in the present moment.

Step Seven: Repeat As Needed

Processing emotions isn’t a one-and-done thing. Sometimes you’ll move through a feeling quickly; other times, it’ll circle back and ask to be felt again.

That’s not failure — that’s healing.Be patient with yourself. Keep practicing.

When You Don’t Know What You’re Feeling

Sometimes it’s not clear whether you’re sad, angry, or scared. Emotions can layer like an onion — it takes time to peel them back.

If that’s where you are, start with patience. Sit with the confusion, too. The more you practice noticing your emotions, the easier it becomes to understand them.

You’re Not Woo-Woo for Wanting to Heal

Feeling your feelings isn’t “woo-woo.” It’s not weakness or over-sensitivity.It’s brave.

Living with cancer or chronic illness means facing more emotions than most people can imagine — fear, grief, frustration, relief, gratitude. It’s all valid.

Feeling your feelings doesn’t mean you’re falling apart. It means you’re paying attention.

Final Thought

Feelings aren’t here to destroy you — they’re here to guide you. The more we acknowledge, name, and sit with them, the less power they have over us.

So the next time a big emotion hits, try not to push it away.

Pause. Name it. Sit with it.

And remind yourself:It’s okay to not be okay.

If this resonated with you, join our Support Circle — a free space for cancer survivors and those living with chronic illness to connect, process, and find community. You don’t have to do this alone.